Guest post written by Miriam Bendayan, Dietetics Student from the University of Ottawa
Have you ever finished a snack and thought, Why did I eat that?
Or maybe you’ve caught yourself reaching into the cupboard when you were stressed, bored, or overwhelmed, even though you could have sworn you were not hungry?
If so, you are not alone!
Food is so much more than just fuel. It’s an integral part of birthdays, holidays, family dinners, late-night snacks, and those quiet moments after a long day. For a lot of us, from a young age, food has been tied to comfort, reward, and feeling safe. So, when strong emotions arise, it makes total sense that we would turn to food.
This is what is often referred to as emotional eating. In this post, we’ll break down what emotional eating really is, why it happens, how it can impact your well-being, and how you can start responding to it with a little more awareness and a lot more kindness.
Emotional eating is when we reach for food because of how we’re feeling, not because we’re physically hungry. It often shows up on stressful days, during low moods, when we’re bored, lonely, or just completely overwhelmed. It tends to show up suddenly, often as a craving for a specific food, and might stick around even when you’re physically full.
In those moments, food can feel comforting. It can distract us, soothe us, or give us a quick sense of relief. And that’s not a bad thing. Food has always been connected to care, celebration, and comfort in our lives, so turning to it when emotions are high is a very human response.
Where it can start to feel tricky is when food becomes our main (or only) way we cope. I often tell clients, I don’t really mind if you are an emotional eater, but where it becomes a problem is when it’s the only tool in your emotional coping toolbox. To solve that, we don’t throw out our only tool; we simply need to add more tools to the toolbox.
Think of emotional eating like grabbing a blanket when you’re cold. It helps in the moment, but it’s not the only way we can warm ourselves, and if we’re constantly cold, it also doesn’t fix the broken window that’s letting the cold air in.
There isn’t just one reason emotional eating happens. For most of us, it’s a mix of life experiences, habits we’ve picked up over time, and plain old biology.
Stressful or heavy situations like work pressure, relationships, financial worries, or personal setbacks can leave us feeling overwhelmed and looking for something to take the edge off. I think it’s important to recognize that when most people think of emotional eating, it’s often associated with negative emotions. However, we also celebrate with food. Food can bring people closer together, and yet we don’t seem to have a negative association with eating that’s related to celebratory or positive emotions.
A lot of emotional eating patterns actually start early. Many of us were given food to calm down, feel better, or celebrate as children. Over time, we learn to connect eating with comfort and relief. Those patterns can stick with us into adulthood, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
There’s also a biological side to this. When experiencing stress or really strong emotions, the body releases cortisol (a stress hormone). Many people get worried about cortisol, but this is the body’s natural response to stress. It’s nothing to be feared.
Scientists suspect that stress hormones like cortisol increase sugar in the blood to be used as fuel by muscles and the brain. This is your body’s way of preparing for fight or flight. At the same time, cortisol can also increase appetite and cravings, so your body has extra fuel if it needs it.
This is a totally normal stress response; your body is gearing up for survival. However, this response is not always an appropriate response for modern-day stressors.
Emotional eating usually follows a pretty predictable pattern: A difficult feeling shows up. Maybe it is stress. Maybe it is sadness. Maybe it is frustration after a long day. That feeling sparks a craving, often for foods high in sugar, salt, or fat.
When we eat those foods, our brain releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins. I like to call them “feel-good” chemicals because they create a sense of pleasure, comfort, and relief. Carbohydrates can also increase serotonin, which is linked to calmness and well-being.
So in the moment, the food genuinely does help by easing emotional discomfort.
However, once the eating stops, the original feelings tend to come back. Sometimes they bring guilt, shame, or regret with them. And because the underlying emotion is still there, the cycle can start all over again.
If eating is the only coping tool we have, it can become automatic. You finish the chips, ice cream, or whatever food you tend to reach for, and the very thing that stressed you out in the first place is still waiting.
Coping tools, including food, are not meant to magically fix our problems. They are meant to calm our nervous system enough so we can think more clearly and choose what we need next. This is why compassion matters. The goal is not to take comfort away! It is to gently expand the ways we care for ourselves.
Emotional eating itself is not a problem. It becomes challenging when it is the only strategy we rely on, and it can potentially lead to other issues if we don’t have other coping skills.
For many people, emotional eating doesn’t end with the food; it’s often followed by a quiet inner voice of self-criticism. In a society that labels emotional eating as “bad” or as a “lack of willpower”, it’s easy to turn that judgment inward instead of pausing to ask, “What was I really needing in that moment?” Over time, this cycle of seeking comfort and then feeling guilty can slowly affect self-esteem and how we see our bodies and ourselves. Shifting from self-judgment to self-understanding is a very important step toward healing that relationship.
Because emotional eating can soften feelings quickly, it may delay how much or how quickly we notice what is actually going on underneath. Over time, emotions can become harder to identify or work through because they are being pushed aside rather than explored. We can also use food as a way to numb our emotions, especially when the emotions feel too big to adequately deal with on our own. While food may work in this situation, it’s like putting a Band-Aid over a bullet hole. It’s not enough to solve the issue, and it can make things worse if not properly dealt with.
The goal is not to eliminate emotional eating, but to build a bigger and more flexible coping toolbox.
Mindful eating can be a helpful way to reconnect with your hunger and fullness cues. That might look like slowing down a bit, putting your phone away while you eat, or just pausing before or after a meal to check in with yourself. Even asking, “What do I need right now?” can open the door to more intentional, supportive choices.
If you do choose to eat, portion out snacks to create natural stopping points that force you to check in. Rather than heading to the couch with a full bag of chips, grab a small bowl, put the chips in the bowl, and then head to the couch. This doesn’t mean that all you get to eat is that small bowl of chips, but it allows you to pause and reflect when you’ve eaten what’s in the bowl.
Creating natural stopping points allows you to assess:
How did it feel to eat the chips?
Did I notice myself eating them, or was I on autopilot?
Did I enjoy them?
How am I feeling now?
Do I want more?
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Talking things through with a close friend, family member, or professional can make emotional eating feel a lot less isolating. Dietitians and therapists can help you explore these patterns in a supportive, non-restrictive way.
You don’t need a perfect food journal or strict tracking. Jotting things down in the notes app of your phone or a simple mental check-in can help you start noticing patterns like certain emotions, times of day, or situations that make emotional eating more likely. This isn’t about controlling yourself. It’s about building awareness and clarity so you can understand your habits with more compassion.
Food doesn’t have to be completely eliminated as a coping tool! It just works best when it isn’t the only one you have. Building a few other go-to ways to handle strong emotions can make you feel more “ in control” around food and give you the option of how to respond to those emotions. That might look like going for a walk, stretching, journaling, listening to music, taking a few deep breaths, or doing something creative that helps you regulate your nervous system.
I often suggest brainstorming a short list of coping strategies you are willing to try or already know work for you, and organizing them by how much time or energy they take. Long lists can feel overwhelming, which makes it easier to default to old habits. Shorter lists based on how much time and capacity you have in that particular moment make choosing an alternative coping strategy simpler.
For example, if it’s 10 p.m. and I only have a few minutes before bed, I’m probably not going to call a friend or go for a walk. But I might journal for a minute, read a few pages, or take a few deep breaths.
Not all emotional eating is bad. Sometimes it is just nourishment paired with rest. Sometimes it is choosing something warm, familiar, and easy because that is what your nervous system actually needs.
Maybe you had one of those days. Work was a lot. Your to-do list never ended. Everyone needed something from you. So you make a simple meal you actually like, sit down, eat it slowly, and let yourself breathe for a second.
Maybe you had a heavy conversation with a family member or someone close to you. Instead of spiralling all night, you stop for your go-to comforting drink and take a few quiet minutes to reset before going home.
Maybe it is late, the house is finally quiet, and you curl up on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and your favourite TV show.
That can be self-care. That can be regulation. That can be a small way of saying, I’m doing the best I can right now.
Food can be comforting, and that is okay.
Emotional eating is common, normal, and deeply human. Nothing about it means you’re broken or lacking willpower. When you begin to understand why it happens, you can start responding with curiosity instead of criticism. Building awareness, leaning on support, and experimenting with different coping strategies can gently guide you toward a more balanced and compassionate relationship with food.
Emotions are part of life, and you deserve support through all of them! Not just the easy ones! Each time you pause and ask what you need, then try to meet that need in any small way, you’re strengthening your ability to trust yourself and take care of both your physical and emotional health.
If you need help managing your emotional eating and adding new coping tools to your toolbox, let's chat. I offer a free 15-minute discovery call to see if I would be a good fit for you.
You can also take a look at my Emotional Eating in Motherhood webinar. While this blog post covered some of the basic concepts, if you really want to dive deeper into emotional eating and motherhood, Jennifer Neale, Registered Dietitian and Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor and Dr. Melisa Arias-Valenzuela, Clinical Psychologist, hosted a FREE workshop on this topic. Click here to grab the replay.
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